Dead Nipple Strikes again....

Yes, it's true. My left booby is infected yet again. It's itchy and sore and leaky and red and I just want to rip it off! Doc says it could be that all the breast changes from pregnancy caused it to flare up again. Now I have to take an insane amount of antibiotics until it is gone.
I am sooo worried that it won't go away, or that it will prevent me from breastfeeding. I'm trying to be positive, but it has been hard with how uncomfortable I am. On the plus side, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I cannot wait to stuff my face. We are hosting, but my parents are handling most of the cooking at their place, and then bringing everything our way.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

NT Scan!!

Our NT Scan yesterday was awesome! We got to watch our sweet, stubborn baby for a whole hour. She was all curled up( I think she was sleeping) and wouldn't turn the right way for the tech to get the measurements perfect, but she got what she needed. Everything looks normal, except apparently I have a wonky-shaped uterus. They described it sort of like a lima bean, and it may cause problems later, or it may not matter at all. They said it will raise my risk of the baby being breech, and possibly a c-section. That is my biggest fear, but I am going to just deal with it when the time comes. Here is a picture of our sweet little bean, who looks kind of X-Files-ish, but it's still amazing to me.

I'm Pregnant!!!

Holy Balls people! It has been so freakin long since I updated this Blog. So much has happened... Long story short, I am knocked up! We found out on September 21st. After getting a BFN on that Thursday, I decided to wait til Tuesday to test again. When I came home from babysitting Sunday night, I randomly burst into tears and texted my hubby for support. He said I better take a pregnancy test, which at the time I thought was terribly insensitive. I got my BFP the next morning, and he is still gloating about his "intuition".

Fast forward! I am now almost 11 weeks, and we got to see the bean at 8 weeks, 4 days.. I told everyone on Halloween, using a homemade costume. It was amazing how few people 'got it'. 6 people out of like, 100 that I saw that day. (Pic above). They moved my due date to June 3rd, which seems SO far away, but we are thrilled. We already have our nursery all planned out, and can't wait to get started. We are going the natural route, with midwives at a birth center, and we are NOT finding out the sex. I will do my best to update everyone once a week or so. Thanks for reading!

The latest...

So, not much on the TTC, obviously, since we are holding off. But, I figured I'd update this blog for those who don't follow my other one.

Anyway, I finished up my Provera, finished up my bleeding, and didn't quite know what to do next. I called my doc, and she said she wants me to have another ultrasound(the regular, AND dildo cam) to check on the cyst we found before, and make sure there aren't any new ones. That is all fine and dandy, but....then what? We made an appointment that same day to discuss the results and the next step in the plan.

Let me tell you. I cannot WAIT to sit and pick this woman's brain about TTC and weight. In my mind, I am so torn on what I want to hear. Part of me wants to hear that I have no business trying to get pregnant when I am nearly 100 lbs overweight. I want her to slap me in the face and tell me start running marathons. I want her to tell me to not call her until I weigh half what I do now.

Now, I know that won't happen, but I just plain don't want to hear that I should go ahead with TTC, the risks aren't that great, blah blah blah. I want to know that I am right for wanting to be as healthy as possible before becoming a 9-month leased apartment to another human being. I want to know that I am not alone in this feeling, and I know it will give me that extra push I need to lose the weight.

The only thing that saddens me about all of that, is that I know that it could take a year, maybe more to get to my goal weight, and then who knows how long after to get pregnant. I don't want to wait another year, or two, for a baby.
The appointment is next Tuesday. Updates to come...

Been doing some thinking....

I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do regarding TTC, and life in general. And, I have decided I want to put it on hold. We don't have a definite time frame, but we are thinking somewhere around a year, maybe more, maybe less. All this health stuff has me so stressed, and I have no idea how long it will take for it all to be sorted out. I don't know if I will need surgery, or what. I think I want to work on losing more weight, and saving money. My goal is to shed 80 lbs, and save 3,000 dollars, before we conceive. I'm not even sure when we will get back to actually trying, but right now, it just doesn't seem like the smartest thing to do.
I want to be healthy, in mind, body, wallet, lol. Ash fully supports this decision, and agrees that saving money would be a good idea. I am glad that I have such a caring and supportive husband, who is there no matter where the road may take us. It makes these hard times so much easier to bear.
I will still be blogging, and around GP, but maybe not as much. I want to start focusing on getting in shape, and getting my shit together, and that is hard to do when you are sitting on the computer every night, lol. Thank you to all my dear friends who read this blog, who are so sweet and supportive of me. I love you all!

Let the testing begin!

I just started spotting a few hours ago, WOOT! Now, on with the testing. First up, tomorrow morning, Glucose, Thyroid, and Prolactin. Wednesday I go back for the cd3 testing of FSH. Friday will be my pelvic ultrasound, and oral surgery(yow!). Then I get a break until I have confirmed O with charting and OPKs, then my final blood draw to test my progesterone.

After all of that is done, hopefully we will have some insight as to why the Bleedfest took place, and what's next for TTC. I am hoping that everything comes out normally, and that I don't need any surgery or meds(obviously). I want to be able to give this a real shot, not just the 2-ish months I had to try around erratic bleeding.

It was a long, obnoxious wait to get my period back after stopping depo, and though we've only been married a year, it feels like it has been forever that we have been waiting to try. Now, with some weight loss and breast cancer scares out of the way, I feel like it's our time! I don't have any dreams of having a baby in a certain month, or year, or by the time I am a certain age. I am not THAT girl. But, I don't want to have to keep putting TTC on hold for whatever reason.

So, here's hoping everything goes well. I am really just praying I don't pass out from all the blood I have to give this week, combined with the drugs I will be on after surgery, lol.
I will keep you all updated.

Updates N'At

Soooo...the bleedfest finally ended after 17 days. I kept my appointment for April 9th, and as of right now, it couldn't seem farther away, lol. However, I did get to go to the Oral Surgeon for my wisdom tooth evaluation. I have to have ALL FOUR pulled out, and Ash needs 3 pulled. It's gonna cost a good deal, but I need to get it over with now, cause they won't do it during pregnancy, and hell if I'm gonna wait another year-ish to get these suckers out.
I'm having more and more weird pregnancy dreams, and people keep telling me weird annoying things like "What if you're pregnant now? And it's just too soon to tell?" Why? Why do people say things like that? If anyone knew what was actually going on, they would know that there is NO WAY I am KU, especially following that 17-day massacre.
Anyway, I am trying to stay positive, and looking forward to talking to my new doc and getting some answers. More later.

What the hell is going on?

I can't even stand it anymore. I have been bleeding for so many days, I have pretty much lost count. Today, I started passing scary clots, that are so big, I can FEEL them coming out. I called the doc and she insisted I take a pregnancy test. Oh yeah, that sounds fun. Lets rub it in some more. Not only am I bleeding to death, but now I have to take a pointless test and look at a pointless BFN. Thanks doc. Oh and of course the whole "Go to the Er if the bleeding is enough to go through a pad an hour, blah blah blah". I knew it, I knew that's what they would say. I just didn't want to have to pay 80 bucks to hear it. So, it remains, that I have to wait until April 9th to see a doc and find out what the hell is wrong with me.

Nipples and Charting and Weight Loss-Oh my!

I just realized I haven't updated my booby status. As most of you know, the doc ruled out any cancer possibility, so YAY for that! As of right now, my nip is going back and forth between healed and not. The skin is still probably pretty damaged deep down, so it will most likely take a while before it's 100%. Til then, I will keep putting lotion on and hope for the best.
This is officially our first official cycle officially TTC. Officially. I started charting, mostly cause I want to confirm that I am ovulating, and I'm not sure if I will keep at it or not. Yes, it is way easier than I thought it would be to actually wake up and do the temping part. But, analyzing it is probably the hardest thing I've ever attempted, and if it weren't for the PDs, I would be 100% lost. Everyone has been laying off the pressure, as per my request,lol, so it is going well for now. Timing sex is sort of a pain, but we are handling it.
I am still working on the weight loss, and I'm almost halfway to my first goal of 65 lbs. I plan on trying WW in a couple of weeks, and seeing what that does to my results. I really need to start weight training more, and utilizing the 2nd gym membership that I have on the weekends. Right now I just work out at my work gym in the mornings during the week, doing 30-40 minutes of cardio. It works, but I need to work on my muscle tone and strength.
I will keep everyone posted on this cycle....here's hoping for good news!

I have WHAT on my nipple?

The doc thinks I have a Yeast infection. On my nipple! And I have to put Monistat on it for two weeks. I am PRAYING that he is right. He still wants me to have a mammogram, which is Monday. I won't get the results til the 11th, but dear lord baby jesus I hope it's not cancer. On the other hand, I am thinking of suing, if it does turn out to be a y.i. The procedure my doc did was SO simple, and would have taken my previous doc all of 5 minutes to do when I saw her back in August. It could have saved me months of worry, pain, and maybe even damage done to my skin and breast tissue. I will post an update after my next appointment. Thanks for the well wishes ladies!

Doctor on Wednesday!

If you are reading this, I have invited you to read my blog, which is now private. I have decided to start blogging about my *possible* breast cancer,and the treatment to follow. Right now I am just waiting to go back to the doc on Wednesday for a second opinion. I went over the summer/early fall last year, and was basically given the run around by some 20-something twit who insisted it was just dry skin. Let me tell you this, dry skin does not stick around for a year. All my research points to Paget's Disease, a rare type of breast cancer which causes the skin on the nipple dry up and itch like mad. Those are my symptoms, and I can't think of anything else it could be. I read that treatment is simple, and fatality is RARE. I shouldn't have to have any chemo or anything. At most there will be surgery to remove whatever lump they may find, and hopefully I will be good as new. Ash and my mom are both coming with me on Wednesday, and my boss is aware and totally supportive of whatever I need to do. I am trying to keep this quiet until I know more, so please no mention of this on GP. I will keep you all posted, and thank you all for your well wishes. Love, Adrienne

Waaay overdue for an update

But....not much new! Christmas was ok. My family somehow managed to invite themselves over at the last minute, but we split the cooking duties, so it ended up alright. We had to postpone the big Honeymoon trip til Valentine's Day. I barely got any hours at work over the holidays, and there was just no way we could afford it right now. I am however, determined to not become one of those couples who puts it off, and puts it off, and before you know it, it has been 20 years and no honeymoon. We deserve this trip, and it WILL happen.
New Year's/Hubby's Bday was fun. We were very low key, babysitting until around 11, then coming home for champagne at midnight. We spent a lot of time over the holiday "break"(I use that term loosely, cause I still worked pretty much every day, lol) just hanging out, cuddling and being cheesy married people. I know we're still definitely in the "newlywed" category, but it's really starting to soak in now that we're married. It's been 7 months, and it's starting to feel more real. And, I love it.
On the weight loss front....yeah...I was sick for so long, that I skipped out on the gym for what, two weeks? Luckily, I've still held steady at my weight, and I don't feel like I've lost any muscle mass or strength. Now that I am back to 100%, I plan on hitting the gym tomorrow. I think I am going to aim for 3 nights a week, now that I am working the earlier shift at work. I also get my health benefits soon, and I read that I will get a discount at Weight Watchers. I always told myself I would never do anything like that, but never say never I guess. We will see, it certainly couldn't hurt.