So in love with this baby!

Yesterday, I had a bunch of appointments, starting with our Fetal echo. Baby is naughty! Wouldn't turn the right way, so we were sent home with no results. We have to go back in a month. I guess baby decided to make it up to us, because our second appointment ( an ultrasound) was awesome! We got cute pics, and a video, and baby put on a major show for us. I could feel him/her kicking against the u/s wand, and it was cracking us all up. I posted a pic, which is a little blurry, but you can clearly see it's a human baby at this point. We get to relax for a couple weeks before our next round of appointments, and then it's back to the grind. We are almost done clearing out the baby's room, and soon we will have the carpet steam cleaned, and order the crib! I absolutely can't wait. I feel closer to this baby every day. I've already watched the u/s video 4 times, and even recorded it in my phone. It makes me tear up every time I see my little one jumping around in there. I love how the picture looks like baby is sitting underneath a star. =)

A little background....

I just realized that I kinda skipped some info about how/when I got pregnant. When I left off, I was preparing to try some treatments to help the bleeding. Soo...here's how it went down. I stopped the Metformin when I was hospitalized for the mastitis. So many doctors gave me the side-eye, and I was starting to freak out. I decided to see a different OB, and he reccomended I give it a second try. He said it could very well help fix my cycle, and he also had an inkling that I was insulin-resistant. He sent me for the testing, and insulin-resistance was ruled out, but I decided to stay on the Met and see if it helped my bleeding. I started taking it at the beginning of August, and also started tracking my cycle on a regular calendar. I had tried opks, but never got a positive, so I decided to just assume I was ovulating in the same window that the opk instructions assumed. The opks told me to start testing at cd10, so I decided to start having sex on cd 11, and then aiming for every other day from there. I think it ended up being cd11,13,15,17,20,22, and 25. I really didn't think it would work, but I figured it couldn't hurt. On cd38 I was starting to get irritated, I wanted my period to show up already. The night before, DH went to work early while I was out, and for some reason, coming home to the empty house just sent me over the edge. I burst into tears, and texted him to tell him how upset I was. he jokingly said "Maybe you should take a pregnancy test." That pissed me off even more, but just to shut him up, I took one the next morning. I was pretty much standing there waiting for the negative, so I could throw it in the garbage, but lo and behold, there was a faint line! I ran down the hall screaming, waking DH up to come see the test. I absolutely couldn't believe it. So, that's my story. Charting definitely didn't work for me with all the irregular bleeding and crap I had going on. I have a strong feeling that the Metformin helped straighten out my cycle, and finally get me the BFP I had longed for.

Dead Nipple Strikes again....

Yes, it's true. My left booby is infected yet again. It's itchy and sore and leaky and red and I just want to rip it off! Doc says it could be that all the breast changes from pregnancy caused it to flare up again. Now I have to take an insane amount of antibiotics until it is gone.
I am sooo worried that it won't go away, or that it will prevent me from breastfeeding. I'm trying to be positive, but it has been hard with how uncomfortable I am. On the plus side, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I cannot wait to stuff my face. We are hosting, but my parents are handling most of the cooking at their place, and then bringing everything our way.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

NT Scan!!

Our NT Scan yesterday was awesome! We got to watch our sweet, stubborn baby for a whole hour. She was all curled up( I think she was sleeping) and wouldn't turn the right way for the tech to get the measurements perfect, but she got what she needed. Everything looks normal, except apparently I have a wonky-shaped uterus. They described it sort of like a lima bean, and it may cause problems later, or it may not matter at all. They said it will raise my risk of the baby being breech, and possibly a c-section. That is my biggest fear, but I am going to just deal with it when the time comes. Here is a picture of our sweet little bean, who looks kind of X-Files-ish, but it's still amazing to me.

I'm Pregnant!!!

Holy Balls people! It has been so freakin long since I updated this Blog. So much has happened... Long story short, I am knocked up! We found out on September 21st. After getting a BFN on that Thursday, I decided to wait til Tuesday to test again. When I came home from babysitting Sunday night, I randomly burst into tears and texted my hubby for support. He said I better take a pregnancy test, which at the time I thought was terribly insensitive. I got my BFP the next morning, and he is still gloating about his "intuition".

Fast forward! I am now almost 11 weeks, and we got to see the bean at 8 weeks, 4 days.. I told everyone on Halloween, using a homemade costume. It was amazing how few people 'got it'. 6 people out of like, 100 that I saw that day. (Pic above). They moved my due date to June 3rd, which seems SO far away, but we are thrilled. We already have our nursery all planned out, and can't wait to get started. We are going the natural route, with midwives at a birth center, and we are NOT finding out the sex. I will do my best to update everyone once a week or so. Thanks for reading!

The latest...

So, not much on the TTC, obviously, since we are holding off. But, I figured I'd update this blog for those who don't follow my other one.

Anyway, I finished up my Provera, finished up my bleeding, and didn't quite know what to do next. I called my doc, and she said she wants me to have another ultrasound(the regular, AND dildo cam) to check on the cyst we found before, and make sure there aren't any new ones. That is all fine and dandy, but....then what? We made an appointment that same day to discuss the results and the next step in the plan.

Let me tell you. I cannot WAIT to sit and pick this woman's brain about TTC and weight. In my mind, I am so torn on what I want to hear. Part of me wants to hear that I have no business trying to get pregnant when I am nearly 100 lbs overweight. I want her to slap me in the face and tell me start running marathons. I want her to tell me to not call her until I weigh half what I do now.

Now, I know that won't happen, but I just plain don't want to hear that I should go ahead with TTC, the risks aren't that great, blah blah blah. I want to know that I am right for wanting to be as healthy as possible before becoming a 9-month leased apartment to another human being. I want to know that I am not alone in this feeling, and I know it will give me that extra push I need to lose the weight.

The only thing that saddens me about all of that, is that I know that it could take a year, maybe more to get to my goal weight, and then who knows how long after to get pregnant. I don't want to wait another year, or two, for a baby.
The appointment is next Tuesday. Updates to come...

Been doing some thinking....

I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do regarding TTC, and life in general. And, I have decided I want to put it on hold. We don't have a definite time frame, but we are thinking somewhere around a year, maybe more, maybe less. All this health stuff has me so stressed, and I have no idea how long it will take for it all to be sorted out. I don't know if I will need surgery, or what. I think I want to work on losing more weight, and saving money. My goal is to shed 80 lbs, and save 3,000 dollars, before we conceive. I'm not even sure when we will get back to actually trying, but right now, it just doesn't seem like the smartest thing to do.
I want to be healthy, in mind, body, wallet, lol. Ash fully supports this decision, and agrees that saving money would be a good idea. I am glad that I have such a caring and supportive husband, who is there no matter where the road may take us. It makes these hard times so much easier to bear.
I will still be blogging, and around GP, but maybe not as much. I want to start focusing on getting in shape, and getting my shit together, and that is hard to do when you are sitting on the computer every night, lol. Thank you to all my dear friends who read this blog, who are so sweet and supportive of me. I love you all!